Category Archives: revenge on parking lot douchbags

How To Make Fake Semen

There are certainly quite a few different pranks that revolve around the necessity of knowing  how to make fake semen. We actually found a few different ways to go about producing your own looking, smelling, and feeling type for your own personal use. Some of these can be used as lubricants, others just for show, while another might even be slightly edible Рif you use the right type of egg and can handle the taste. Read on to learn 3 different ways to get the desired outcome what you want, and decide what is perfect for your scenario.

Methyl Cellulose

In the Porn Industry, they need to have a product that can be used that does not contribute to things such as yeast infection. They need something without sugar and is neutral to the inside of a woman’s nether regions. So to help fulfill certain fetishes, they use a product known as methylcellulose.

Gelification methylcellulose for fake semen

Thick or Thin, warm or cold, this stuff will do the trick when told.

This stuff is actually used in the regular film industry as well, because of it’s gel like consistency. If you’ve ever seen the movie ghost busters, then you know that this is the green gunk that covered all the actors in a few scenes. This particular variety, F50, is the perfect type to make fake cum with. It’s a “culinary essential” – but I personally wouldn’t eat it. Some types of fetishes need bucket loads of this stuff, and the directors and experts have turned to this stuff to fulfill their needs. If it works for them, it should work for you as well!

 

Where to buy fake cum

Fake Semen Lube

Choose the size for your dastardly needs.

Not interested in buying the porn industries favorite look-a-like and mixing it yourself? Want something easy, ready to use, and you can use as a lubricant as well? Great- you’re in luck! You can purchase what is known as “cum lube” from stores online, which has the look and feel of semen, but at the same time is safe for use in other activities. You can get a small size to just test it out, or opt for the bucket load – which truly is a bucket full of this gunk. It’s enough to stop anyone in their tracks and say “WOW!” or to pour all over the place and record the looks on people’s faces as they have to clean it up, or make their way through it.

Fake Semen Recipe

We know what you’re really here for though. Without further ado, here is the recipe on how to make your own fake cum. If you decide to go the route of making your own edible male juice, here is our time tested recipe. You’ll need to gather an egg, plain yogurt, water, cornstarch, and just a pinch of salt. Follow these directions, and you’ll have something that you may eat and have the look and consistency of the real thing. It is a little bit more difficult than actually making the ‘real thing’ or using any of the above, but it’s definitely worth it.

Ingredients:

I. Egg

This neat device can assist you with getting just the whites

This neat device can assist you with getting just the whites

1 egg and just the egg whites need. This nifty egg white separator can do the trick for you as well.

II. Water

1 cup

Just need to measure out 1 cups worth of water

Just need to measure out 1 cups worth of water

However you choose to measure it, you’ll only need about 1 cups worth of water. 1/4 mixed initially with the cornstarch, while the rest goes in the pan.

III. Cornstarch

organic corn starch
2 tablespoons worth to add the right amount of thickness to your fake semen.

IV. Yogurt
1 tablespoon

 

We found the greek style yogurts to have the best consistency.

We found the greek style yogurts to have the best consistency.

V. Salt

Real semen is slightly salty, you can skip this if you want.

Real semen is slightly salty, you can skip this if you want.

Just a pinch for flavor. Don’t necessarily have to add this, only if you want to make the ‘real thing’ so to speak.

 

Directions:

What you’ll want to do is take about a 1/4 cup of that water and mix it with your corn starch to allow it to slightly dissolve. Take the remaining 3/4 cup of water and put it on simmer on the stovetop in a pan. Combine the stirred cornstarch and water into the pan, whisking them together. It will quickly mix together and become very thick. Once it is, remove it from the burner and allow it to cool to room temperature. If you wish to speed up the process, you can create an ice bath to place the pan on or stick it in a fridge to cool down. You’ll want to do this prior to adding the egg white, because if it is still hot you risk cooking the egg instead of incorporating it. Take the egg white and yogurt and mix them with the cornstarch and water mixture. During this time, you can add a pinch of salt to get it to the desired taste. Set your mixture aside until ready to use!

This will keep for about a day or so, depending on how quickly you can stick it in the fridge. Do not leave it out, since the egg whites and yogurt can easily spoil in room temperature. Or maybe leave it out, if you want to use this stuff for a sickly revenge prank.

What to do with it?

Ah, now it’s done and you want to use it? You or your lover may fulfill a fantasy with this substance.. or you can stick it in a condom and send it in the mail to an unsuspecting victim. While sending ACTUAL sperm may not be allowed, sending this look alike substance in a package is. It can be thrown on beds, door knobs, and car handles. You can squirt it on people, or have a bit in your hand as you go to shake someone else. Have an ex think you’re cheating on HIM, and get petty revenge by having fake cum all over your shared bed.. just on his side of the sheets.

All this is really gross, and we hope that you wouldn’t do anything like this. Our informational article is just for that – and we are not held responsible for what you do. We hope you have fun however, and let us know in the comments what you choose to use it for. Happy pranking!

 

Fake Bullet Holes Product Review

We’re going to be completely honest here – fake bullet holes are pretty darn lame looking. Plastic covering with silver and black paint definitely do NOT look realistic. Don’t believe us? See the image below:

Fake Bullet Holes

fake bullet holes on car revenge product

Non realistic looking car bullet holes.

Do you really want these actually fake looking things on your own ride? Well, it might be cook to buy and put on someone else’s car or bike, but we’ll leave that up to you.

You can purchase them anywhere from $2 up to $12, with the average price around $5. This is a solid deal, and they can be found in a metallic version for use on cars, or glass version for use on windows. The ones that we have come across when we bought a few don’t look realistic at all, and honestly, unless you live in the ghetto will you have to worry about getting your car shot up. Actually, if you live in America, it’s a real occurrence you might have to be wary of. Places like New Jersey, Oakland, and Texas will have real bullet holes lining people’s car doors. Other than that, you’ll probably look like someone trying to fake something that you’re not. On the other hand, you might be able to fake out someone who really lives in the ghetto and might get their car shot up – which is kinda funny if you ask us. It can be an option that you have to consider on your own.

During our search for the best fake bullet holes, we did come across these bullet hole temporary tattoos:

fake tattoo bullet holes

these fake temporary bullet hole tattoos look pretty neat.

They’re actually a prosthetic attachment you can use if you want to prank someone while you are dressed up for Halloween, or just want to give a scare to a loved one while you’re at it. Use some fake blood, get a ruined t-shirt and rip some holes into it, add the blood to the shirt and ground, and around your lip, and await for your roommate or significant other to come home and find you there after a false ‘home invasion’. Scare the living daylights out of them. You can also have a fake gun at the scene of the crime, like you just “had enough” and decided to take it out with yourself. It’s a much safer way than doing the real thing, and you can remove the stickers – not real bullets.

In terms of whether or not you should buy fake bullet holes or not, they can be added to stocking-stuffers or for a unique birthday gift. They look great when attached as a prosthetic in the image above, or on some car. You can buy them here:

Buy Fake Bullet Holes.

Our verdict? They’re cheap, and not so much of a waste of money for the novelty. Just don’t have this be the end all be all gift for someone. Think of it more like a side dish to a entree plate. It’s a product that can compliment a prank or gift for someone.

Fun With Saran Wrap Pranks

So there is this product called Saran wrap. It is typically used to save leftovers from your relatives or that annoying neighbor, or to stop pesky flies from getting all over your food. It’s tough, it peels and sticks, it stretches – so why not have better uses for it than just food? This sticky stuff can be used to make some awesome cling wrap pranks. Use caution with the following ideas, as some of this might end up with some awesome and hilarious results.

If you want to buy some, go for a name brand, as our experience with generic is less than stellar. They typically come in packages that look something a little like this:

Saran Wrap Prank

Notice the square shaped box? Well, it also hides a little blade to help sever the product from the roll. Be careful, as this sometimes can come loose and cause harm to you, the pranker!

Without further ado, here are the Saran Wrap Pranks!

I. Saran Wrap A Car:

(with other objects)

saran wrap a car

The first prank is one to pull on a victim’s vehicle. It’s easy to do. Take the roll out of the box and discard in a rubbish bin. You’ll use the whole roll for this one. Wrap tightly around the vehicle in a clockwise or counter-clockwise manner. Be sure to start at the bottom and work your way up. Also, you’ll want to ensure a tight seal from where the door begins to open at the bottom, and end with it at the top. If you do this effectively, you’ll have a door that will be almost impossible to open without the use of a knife or scissors. And since the box was thrown away (or recycled), your victim will have no choice but to try to saw through it with their keys. You can even attach it with other objects, such as shopping carts, trees, or balloons. Watch from a safe distance -and record their reaction, if possible.

II. Saran Wrap A Walkway/Hallway:

Since Saran wrap is pretty see through, it can be used as an effective blocking mechanism that people do not see coming. Best places to put it are at around face level so you can get pictures like this:

Looks like she didn't see this one coming..

Looks like she didn’t see this one coming..

Check out the video below to see some of a compilation of the wrapping material blocking people dead in their tracks. It helps if you can also get them to have a running start..

Don’t forget, that animals can fall for this too. Place it in a dog door, a hallway your roommate’s evil cat always walks through, or other places that are “high traffic areas” for people and animals. This one get’s the best results

III. Saran Wrap Toilet Seat:

The third prank to pull with this clingy film is to line the top most section of a toilet with the wrap.

As you see in the video above, cling wrap is pretty see through once pulled tightly enough fooling someone even if they do look before they squat. It is more effective for those who sit however, so sorry to those who do have to squat to pee.

IV. Saran Wrap a person:

looks like he's not going anywhere for a while

looks like he’s not going anywhere for a while

This setup will require you to recruit the help of some volunteers. This prank is much better to pull than using, say – Duct Tape – since that hurts to get off. The good thing is that a few layers of saran wrap can tightly bound even some of the strongest people. You can Saran Wrap them on beds, saran wrap them to chairs, or any other object such as two or more people together! Best thing though is to just bound their arms to their sides, and get their legs. Watch them scurry along like a catapiller for help. You can even use the duct tape you saved to slap it over their mouth so you’ll only hear muffled pity and not their screaming and hollering for help.

What other uses are there for Saran Wrap? Contact us or send us your comments below!

You Park Like An Asshole – Revenge On Parking Lot Douchebags

I’m sure we’ve all seen those people who take up 2 or more spaces with their “special car”. Have you ever wondered what you can do to get back at them? We’ve pulled together a few simple yet effective revenge pranks to pull below, so you can get your sweet vindicated justice on those annoying assholes.

For a passive aggressive way to get revenge:

there are these You Suck At Parking Business Cards
you can put on their windsheild:

Mickey Mouse Douche Parking Revenge

You Park Like An Asshole

Thanks for parking so close asshole

Seriously, you suck at parking business cards

If you want to give them a little scare, sometimes giving them one of these Fake Parking Tickets
helps too:

Or hell, add bird feed on top of their car with some sort of laxative. Watch as the birds explode to make an amazing art piece like on top of this car:

Bird shit on a car revenge prank

Short of slashing their tires, putting cans and bottles with nails in them, clogging their tailpipe with a potato – these are relatively harmless pranks that work effectively well in getting your revenge. You will feel relieved after the petty payback, but trust me – it will be worth it. What we fail to understand is how people are driving a huge ton of metal filled with an explosive gasoline, and drive like maniacs? Not to mention park like douchebags on top of it! So, with that in mind and the aforementioned techniques, make sure that you let them know that their park job is unacceptable in our society.

Lastly, you can watch what this guy did. We think it’s hilarious and what he gets for parking in a handicap spot.

Don’t forget to send us your pranks on what to do to a douchebag owner’s vehicle, and their nasty parking habits.